tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
