I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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