Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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