Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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