It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
