now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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