Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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