No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize