Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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