It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
