All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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