he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
