We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
