Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
