She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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