I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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