I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
