How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my god I love twenty year old dicks
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
