Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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