so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
