my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
not ubering you a puppy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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