White coat. Heels.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
