Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
