I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
