Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
