just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
