he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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