I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
