Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
