real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
