so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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