I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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