Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
