Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
