Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
