Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
