Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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