No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
