My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My vagina just clenched in fear
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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