btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
