There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
