I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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