Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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