i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
