she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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