the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
