if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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