As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
