GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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