def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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