Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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