U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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