What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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